Topics: Declutter, Apartment Therapy, Home Design 

 

How to declutter your home + design for more happiness & calm…

 

Whether you’re renting, buying or renovating, this episode is for you and your happiness…at the place you call home.

I chat with Anita Yokota—licensed therapist turned interior designer, whose work blends psychology with interior design to create spaces that truly support you (you might recognize her work from the Drew Barrymore show.)

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same old routines, drained by cluttered corners, or like your home just isn’t lifting you up—this might be why: your environment is running on autopilot, not in sync with your wellbeing.

Together, we unpack how home design creates happiness and wellbeing through four mini episodes.

 

Listen in and discover:

• Easiest ways to declutter so you feel calm at home—light, colour & texture tweaks that shift your mood immediately

 

• The 3 neuroscience hacks every home needs: natural sunlight for serotonin, muted energising hues, and tactile elements that soothe

 

• How home loops conquer procrastination—the renovation you keep delaying? Learn why you’re stuck and how to unblock yourself

 

• Why your physical & emotional environments are intertwined—what that messy kitchen counter or laundry-room say about you

 

• Creating healthy boundaries in the home—why late-night debates in bed tank your nervous system, and where to hold the real conversations instead

 

 

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

 

🎧 No sledgehammers required—just intention and a few small shifts to make your home feel better than “home.” Share with anyone who you know deserves a more creative space to thrive.

 

ABOUT ANITA YOKOTA
Anita is a licensed MFT turned interior design turned author, sharing how to make your home feel safer, more productive and full of calm and creativity.

Get Anita’s Home Therapy Book Here

 

CONNECT

Instagram: @anitayokota
Website: www.anitayokota.com 

 

LISTEN TO NEXT
Episode: Unlock Emotional Strength with Dr. Nicole (ep #292)

 

RESOURCES

7 Steps to Feel Good Nakd book
The Rio Home Workout Plan
Podcast Mentorship

 

CONNECT
Instagram: @itschardet

 

 

MORE ON THIS SELF-HELP PODCAST EPISODE

 

“Clutter isn’t just visual noise; it hijacks our executive function—like an anchor that’s dragging us down every day.” – Anita Yokota, author of Home Therapy

 

• Finding Your Authentic “Why” at Home
• Building “Home Loops” for Effortless Habits
• Clearing Mental Load Through Organised Flow
• Cultivating Connection with Purposeful Spaces
• Renewal Rituals: Micro-Sanctuaries for Recharge

 

Have you ever walked into your living room and felt…meh? Or paused in front of a cluttered corner, wondering why it’s so hard to unwind?

What if the very walls around you are whispering hidden truths about your habits, your stresses, and even your dreams?
In our latest episode of Feel Good Nakd, therapist-turned-interior-designer Anita Yokota takes us on a journey into home therapy—where home design and psychology fuse to spark real change.

Whether you’re tackling apartment therapy in a studio or dreaming of a full renovation, these insights will help you declutter mental and physical chaos, deepen your connections, and carve out pockets of bliss…all without a sledgehammer.

 

Why Your Space Matters: The Link Between Environment & Emotion

 

Imagine stepping into a room flooded with natural light, gentle color pops, and textures that invite you to sink in. Instantly, you feel a shift in energy. That’s no accident—it’s the power of thoughtful home design.

As Anita reminds us: “My first instinct and observation is what’s the physical climate and the emotional climate and are they cohesive?” When your space feels disjointed—heavy drapes blocking daylight, clashing patterns, or a mountain of mail on the entryway table—your brain goes into low-grade fight-or-flight.

In contrast, a well-designed environment can boost serotonin, clear mental cobwebs, and set the stage for everything you want to accomplish today.

 

Domain One: Individual—Uncovering Your Authentic “Why”

Before you pick up a paintbrush or buy another storage bin, ask yourself: “What do I really want to feel here?” In home therapy, the Individual domain is all about you—your core desires, your limiting beliefs, and the small clues your home offers about them.
Consider your kitchen counter.

If it’s perpetually scattered with random mail and takeaway containers, Anita points out: “That messy kitchen countertop might be a reflection of my resistance of having healthier meals because I have this ambivalence about meal prepping.”

That’s a powerful insight. Your home doesn’t just house your dishes—it mirrors your inner scripts. By journaling one belief (“I never have time to cook”) and pinpointing the physical spot where it plays out, you create your first mini-step toward change.

 

Domain Two: Organisational—Declutter to Reduce Mental Load

Clutter isn’t just visual noise; it hijacks your executive function. The more “stuff” you have without a home, the more your brain works overtime just keeping track of it all. Here’s where declutter goes beyond Marie Kondo and meets apartment therapy savvy.
Anita introduces the idea of “home loops”—intentional setups that guide you toward healthier habits without willpower.

Think:

• A curated snack tray on the kitchen island so you pause before raiding the pantry.
• A hook by the door holding your yoga mat and resistance band, making evening stretches nearly automatic.
• A desktop drawer with prioritized “project essentials” so you never waste time hunting for that pen or that charger.

As she warns: “Clutter isn’t just visual noise; it hijacks our executive function—like an anchor that’s dragging us down every day.”
By assigning every item a true “home” and building these loops, you’ll find your mental load shrinking—one tidy drawer at a time.

 

Domain Three: Communal—Designing for Connection & Boundaries

Our homes aren’t just solo retreats; they’re stage sets for relationships—family dinners, late-night chats, and even tough conversations. Yet so many of us default to broaching heavy topics in bed or on the couch, where emotions swirl and boundaries blur. Anita’s #1 rule: “Beds are for dreams, not debates.” Instead, turn a formal dining room or an overlooked landing into your “conversation corner.” A well-placed table lamp, a pair of cozy chairs, and a commitment to device-free check-ins can transform these “dead zones” into neutral ground—where honest talk actually feels safe.

Home design here isn’t about chic aesthetics; it’s about setting clear limits and inviting connection. Next time you need to hash out logistics or simply catch up, think beyond the bedroom. Your dining room might just become your new sacred circle.

 

Domain Four: Renewal—Creating Micro-Sanctuaries

After you’ve uncovered your why, decluttered your drawers, and redefined your communal corners, don’t forget to recharge.

The Renewal domain focuses on tiny, sensory-rich retreats that help you reset—whether you live in a mansion or a micro-studio.
Anita shares her own pandemic hack: carving out a yoga-mat-length spot in her bathroom as a dedicated meditation and movement zone. No grand budget, no major renovation—just a clear signal to her nervous system: “This is your recharge spot.”

Lean into the three key neuroscience hacks as you home therapy your way to calm:

1. Sunlight for Serotonin: Peel back thick drapes or install a simple sun tunnel to flood rooms with natural light.
2. Muted Energising Hues: Swap pure primaries for grayed-down reds, oranges, and yellows to spark productivity.
3. Tactile Comforts: Layer in soft linens, weighted throws, or even a collection of aromatherapy rollers to engage touch and scent.
“No sledgehammers required—just intention and a few small shifts to make your home feel better than ‘home.’”

 

 

Putting It All Together: Your Home as a Healing Haven

 

By weaving these four domains—Individual, Organisational, Communal, and Renewal—into your next design session, you turn any space into a holistic sanctuary. Even if you’re practicing apartment therapy in a tight rental, remember: your home is a living, breathing extension of you. It can drain you or delight you, depending on how you shape it.

 

Your First Steps Today:

1. Pick one “pain point” spot (that junk drawer or the gap above your curtains).
2. Journal what feeling or habit it represents for you.
3. Design a tiny tweak (a basket, a hook, a candle) and test it out this week.

 

Celebrate small wins, and watch how they compound into genuine momentum. And when you’re ready for deeper dive stories, real-life transformations, and the full wisdom of Anita Yokota, don’t miss the complete podcast episode.Ready to Thrive at Home?
Your living space is waiting to serve you—whether you crave structure, connection, or stillness.

Hit “play,” and let this blend of home design, apartment therapy, and easy declutter strategies guide you toward a calmer, happier you.

Share this post with someone who needs a fresh perspective on their home—and let’s build healthier spaces, one small shift at a time.

 

 

 

 

Full Transcript on Home Therapy and Decluttering with Anita Yokota

 

Chardet Ryel (00:00.996)
Thank you so much for joining us here on Feel Good Naked Anita. I’m excited. You have a very interesting, unique area of expertise.

Anita Yokota (00:09.923)
am so excited to be here with your listeners and to be speaking to you on such a passionate topic I have.

Chardet Ryel (00:18.902)
It’s not just passionate though, because I feel like what’s really interesting, and I know this is a question you get asked a lot, so I’ll ask a second. First question now is more about how do you feel is the mission behind the work that you’re doing? And I know that that probably has evolved since you started and continues to evolve, but how do you see the thread throughout?

Anita Yokota (00:42.19)
It’s funny you mentioned that it has evolved. I think it’s evolved in maybe our awareness, but the foundation definitely, it’s always been there, which is how do we find ourselves? How do we find that authenticity, that vulnerability in a safe environment? And even when I was an intern as a psychology intern for counseling and therapy,

I was doing so many home visits and unbeknownst to myself, I ended up organizing a pantry for a really busy mom for parenting. I’d go in for parenting skills and communication to her little toddlers or preschoolers, but we ended up cleaning her pantry or I had couples counseling where I visited their home and we ended up in their little tiny bathroom with one sink, navigating boundaries and communication of who gets who.

you know, what time in the morning to get ready because they were having conflict about it. So I think at the end of the day, that has stayed the same as far as how do we navigate our boundaries ourselves in a sacred space like our home to improve our mood and our relationships.

Chardet Ryel (02:00.48)
In both those examples you gave, actually in the few ones, I feel like that’s so clear, because you can see visually how what we’re dealing with internally or even interrelationally is reflected in the environment. I know that’s a big thing that you focus on. We’ll dive a little bit more. How do you feel our, this is, and the more I think about this, this question is actually really big. I’m thinking, we’ll see, but I’m gonna ask it, we’ll see.

Anita Yokota (02:26.634)
Okay, I’m ready. Okay, I’m ready.

Chardet Ryel (02:30.354)
How do you think are things that we’re dealing with in our relationships and even with ourselves, the inner work, the just blocks we’re having, anything like that, because you’ve got such a strong background in therapy and in understanding people. How is that often reflected in our homes? Like what are some things that you could just go into someone’s house and you would maybe recognize that say something about them?

Anita Yokota (02:56.94)
I’m super into just that energy. And again, when I visit a home therapy session, now it’s more interior design clients, but they know I have the therapeutic background. My first instinct and observation is what’s the physical climate and the emotional climate and are they cohesive? Are they aligned or are they fighting each other?

A lot of times people ask me to go into their homes to renovate. So obviously there’s things fighting against each other, whether it’s the function or the aesthetics. And then lo and behold, later as I interview the families or the partners or the persons living in the home for the renovation, it’s, you know what? Our relational conflicts happen a lot in this entryway, or the laundry room is in the garage and we just like, none of us want to do laundry. It’s such a…

hassle to go in there and you know there’s a lot of pain points that your physical environment and your emotional environment are intertwined but first it’s really that energy that you feel and sometimes we can describe it sometimes we need an expert to come in and help you untangle it but really it’s that energy and then it gets played out in our physical environment right that’s very

usually more prominent to see, it’s visually more straightforward to be like, yeah, that messy kitchen countertop. That might be a reflection of my not wanting, my resistance of having healthier meals because I have this ambivalence about meal prepping or taking care of myself. You can go layer by layer, but it definitely goes hand in hand.

Chardet Ryel (04:43.308)
It was, even when you were saying before, think one of the examples was the couple who’s having, you know, they keep kind of having these disputes and conflicts and then that materializes with sharing the one sink or, you like you can see how that would affect you. And I’m sure people listening will notice there’s one part of their house that maybe just sticks out. That is this point of pain that you’re talking about.

Anita Yokota (05:10.028)
Yes, and it can be something that we live with because if you think about it, and this is why I love sharing about home therapies, bringing in that awareness, that introspective attitude of like, how can my home serve me? How can my home heal me or help heal me in whatever I’m trying to recover from? And maybe it’s a trauma, maybe it’s just relational conflict, or maybe it’s just

anxiety about, you know, certain things that aren’t as big, but they can be situational. So I think it really comes down to finding that core desire, which is, in other words, finding your why. So for me, when I go into a space, it’s really, what is my core desire in this space? How will it work for me a little better, more efficient?

And honestly, how will it heal me?

Chardet Ryel (06:11.45)
I love this, because we’ll go into you have very distinct realms of how you create that, which goes well beyond what most people think about. And I want to go through them. I also want to make sure we go through your journey. And I also want to raise my hand and say that I’ve totally been guilty of this. Everyone listening probably has. And I was just thinking when you were speaking of when I was in New York, I was 25, and my boyfriend, now husband, came to visit.

bothered him so much that in that room, we only had, I didn’t have curtains up in the bedroom I was staying. He said, why don’t you put curtains up? And it was this deeper issue of, I don’t know if I’m gonna stay here. I don’t know if this is gonna be home. I don’t know if I want to really put anything like that. So I think there’s big and small things that people will start to notice as we go into this. But yeah, I was just laughing at myself now about that was interesting.

Anita Yokota (07:09.378)
Yeah, and I think again, that automatic pilot mode, just, we have a routine, right? After work, we come home, we feed our pet or we take off our shoes and put our work bag away and maybe we get into our favorite sweats and watch some TV or stream a movie. It’s just very routine, but if we can pay a little bit more attention to the space around us.

I think that’s again, will reveal so much more to our advantage in making our home ours.

Chardet Ryel (07:46.564)
How did you specifically start to go into that transition of making your home each person’s? Because I know you’ve referenced some examples of when you were doing your work in therapy and you were just put in people’s homes and noticing this stuff. When was the kind of, what was the moment or the moments where you started to see like, actually this is something that I can really help people do?

Anita Yokota (08:10.784)
Absolutely. My aha moment was when I really started getting more of a creative itch. So not only am I a therapist for 20 years, but I’m also a super creative person. Like my mom loves watercolor. My dad’s an architect growing up. We always, you know, did things around the house and just a very creative family. And so after 20 years of

doing therapy in like four walls in an office, I really wanted to expand my creativity in interior design because that was such a passion of mine. On the side, besides doing therapy, I was that go-to friend that knew the paint colors at Benjamin Moore or knew the best home goods in the neighborhood, you know? And with mommy play dates, I was the one helping my friends rearrange their furniture while the babies were playing. We would like move chairs around and…

I was just that friend. so I just felt to a point where I’m like, I want to help people beyond the therapy walls. And my sister was a, know, sisters are wonderful. She’s very like straightforward. She’s like, just start it, you know? And I kind of just started my business on the side. And then pretty soon my design business was growing equally or bigger than my therapy business. And I kind of just.

took a leap of faith, honestly.

Chardet Ryel (09:39.866)
I think that is so fascinating because it’s like you already had the background with some of this creative flair and growing up with it. I’m sure you grew up with lots of imagery and color. then I know that therapeutic world can be, I haven’t been on the practitioner side, but I’ve been on the other side, that it can be quite sterile. And what’s the word, like formulaic.

And it must be, yeah, it must have been so interesting to then be able to switch and say, I’m going to pull this together and I’m going to create magic in people’s homes.

Anita Yokota (10:06.914)
Yes.

Anita Yokota (10:13.461)
Yes. Yes, it’s so funny because when the faux plants started coming back, which I love, like there’s so many people who are allergic, but that Fica tree, because there’s always a dusty Fica tree in the corner of a therapist’s office, that was such PTSD for me. I’m like, I cannot design with a Fica tree. Like I just, I can’t. So that was a funny joke that was in the office for me with my design team is like, I need to, cannot do Fica trees. Just don’t even present that.

Hi Deidre. But all the other faux plants and trees I love, you know. So yeah, it just was, I just had this creative itch and I still wanted to help people. And then that’s when I just started thinking. And then when I did interior design clients homes, it naturally came to me, right? My therapist hat naturally came on when there were disagreements about tile, disagreements on budget.

disagreements like two teenagers sharing a bathroom, who’s going to win? Or partners, one wants more masculine guest room, the other one wants more feminine dining room. How do we navigate all that? So lo and behold, naturally, my therapist hat and my design hat melded together into something really fun and creative. But also what I love about it is sharing with people how our brains work.

you know, with the colors. The neuroscience part of it, where it’s like how our eyes, our retinas transmit the messages to the brain and that’s why certain colors are more soothing. The science part is really exciting for me to share.

Chardet Ryel (11:56.922)
What are like, let’s say three really interesting things that tie in design with the science and how we feel?

Anita Yokota (12:06.466)
Yes, so number one, and because I’m totally into sunshine, vitamin D, is the way that natural light, and if you don’t have natural light all the time, those happy lights, the mood lights, how light really impacts our mood. So when you are designing your home or when you’re thinking about what’s the first thing I should do, I always tell people, easy fix, find some light.

And so if you have dark drapery, maybe do roller shades that are blackout shades and then add some lighter drapery so that you can let the light in when you don’t need to sleep in the, you know, in a darker room, just really lighting light in. A lot of times people don’t understand that adding a sun tunnel or a skylight, if you can structurally, it’s really not as expensive as we think it is. And that light from above,

floods that room and our brains, excuse me, are so happy with that dopamine, that serotonin level, and it is free. know, like light is, it generally does not cost a lot of money or even if you do a sun tunnel, that’s really good investment into your wellbeing. So light is to me, number one, neuroscience.

Definitely easy way to feel good at home. Second similar is color. So colors really add that either a energizing mood to a space that you want to feel productive. I think it’s very a misnomer that color is too energizing. So we need to have our homes very white and very beige. And in order to feel calm, it has to almost be kind of boring.

And I really love challenging that to my clients because when you want to feel productive, you need coffee, right? Or at least I need coffee. love energy. And so adding some energetic colors to your productive work from home space or your office is not a bad idea. You don’t have to be all four walls of energetic colors. But my tip for your listeners is you can add pops of reds, oranges, yellows. What I like to do

Anita Yokota (14:32.192)
is when you pick paint colors, have a gray undertone so it’s muted and that muted energizing color will not jar you. It’s not gonna be like, my God, this is like preschool, kindergarten, classroom. So anytime you want a more productive energizing color, make sure there’s a gray undertone so it’s softer and muted and it soothes you. So that’s a way to add some pop to your space.

And also, ignite your brain for energetic feelings so that you’ll feel more productive. So color is one thing that, again, is great. We all know that blues, greens, creams, beiges, those are calming. But I think there’s a misnomer about the energetic color. So I wanted to share about that. And then the third is tactile, how you feel in things. So I love linen bedsheets. I love.

breathable things when I sleep because I’m a hot sleeper and I just need something to cool us down for sleeping. I think it’s 63 degrees, which is quite cold, a recommended temperature to sleep. I’m kind of weird. Like I’m a hot sleeper, but I also love lots of blankets on me. I love my weighted blanket. And so I have this like

conflict about sleep. But yeah, so it’s really finding breathable bedding, linens, and so your throw pillows in your living room, like finding things that visually are enticing, but also something that feels good when you’re sitting on it or sleeping in it. Those are three neuroscience facts that I think you can really incorporate your home so that it feels calmer.

Chardet Ryel (16:27.182)
Thank you for sharing them, because I feel like too, just hearing them, can hear, you can see the opposite side of it is if you think about rooms you don’t like in your home or your apartment or wherever you are or places you don’t like to visit, it probably has something to do with the color, the lack of light, the texture, maybe of the seats, right, that you’re in or they’re not, they’re not so comfortable, things like that.

I love an accent wall. actually have a red one here, which wouldn’t have been my choice. It was the previous owners, but it’s actually nice.

Anita Yokota (17:01.506)
Yeah, that’s why I think we should throw out all our design rules in our heads. I live in an area where we’re Southern California. So the exterior of the homes are very Spanish Mediterranean. And I can’t tell you every two clients that a comment will be made to me, well, we can’t do farmhouse or we can’t do modern or we can’t do this or that style inside the house because the outside of my house is Spanish. And I’m like,

What? No, we can do whatever you want. No one’s gonna drive to your driveway, walk to your front window and like peek in and say, no, no, no, that’s a modern house inside. That doesn’t match the Spanish outside. No one’s gonna do that. So it’s really just taking away your limiting beliefs. The all or nothing thinking, the black and white thinking of like, my home should be this way because this is

Chardet Ryel (17:53.721)
Yeah.

Anita Yokota (18:00.396)
what success is, or my home should be this way because this is how my outside of the house looks. Like it’s really shedding all those limiting beliefs, finding what works for you. And that’s where authenticity and vulnerability can be shared. It can be birthed. And that’s where we really start becoming our whole selves.

Chardet Ryel (18:24.078)
This is where it touches so nicely on the actual methodology of how you bring design to life for people and tie it in with their wellbeing. I’m specifically thinking of the individual domain you talk about in your book, where if you want to explore that a little bit with the listeners of how you are inside is going to be kind of one of the first steps towards building your environment around you that feels aligned.

Anita Yokota (18:53.29)
Absolutely. So when I started thinking about my home therapy method and how I wanted to have a structure, you know, a way to share it with my real life clients, but also in my book, it was very easy for me to find these four realms and I call them domains because it’s really modeled after what therapy is. So in the therapy world, it’s great to

come in with your partner and say, there’s something wrong with this guy, come fix him. Or I had tons of parents like this 16 year old is driving me crazy, go fix her, go fix him. And I would always say, okay, that’s, I understand. But kind of putting the flashlight back on the person who’s speaking as well, which is what are your thoughts and feelings about how you contribute to this issue?

Chardet Ryel (19:22.872)
Yeah

Anita Yokota (19:48.02)
and it can be very uncomfortable, but it’s part of the process. And so when it comes to therapy, individual therapy always is the crux, foundation. So when I had couples coming in, I always had them refer out to their individual therapy as well, because if they don’t understand what they’re bringing to the table, nothing will ever get solved. So for the home design, it’s really understanding and starting to explore who am I?

What do I want in this space? How do I want to feel in here? What do I want to bring to the table? And so that’s why for my domains, and when I say domains, really think of it as a layer in any space. So let’s take the family room, for instance. It is a place where a lot of people gather, but where do I fit in this space? Where is my individual layer here? It could be in the reading corner. It could be,

in the swivel chair near the sofa. individual is really where you start when you want to design a safe and secure home. It’s finding yourself first.

Chardet Ryel (21:00.576)
I love that you talk about that aspect, because even when I was looking through your book, that one stood out to me so much, especially if some listeners, for example, they have families, many of them are women. And you often, I see this in family and friends that they skip that individual domain as they’re decorating or designing a home for their family. And then there’s no space where they really feel

Anita Yokota (21:00.738)
Mm.

Chardet Ryel (21:29.792)
that they are aligned. It’s all created for the communal or for the children or for their partner. And so I think that that really resonates a lot.

Anita Yokota (21:41.354)
Absolutely. think just being moms and partners, we are just naturally built to be multitaskers and nurturers for everyone else. I think it’s a constant struggle of what are my boundaries? What are my commitments to myself? I have three kids and they’re a little bit older now. They’re 19, 16 and 11. But it’s just now that I’ve come

It’s like an onion, right? Like you peel the layers. And just now I’m like, no, I need to really take care of myself, you know? And I know I’m getting a little older, but so you realize, no, taking care of my body, what I feed my body, my mind, nourishment, this is getting really important. Like I can’t, I’m not in my twenties anymore where I can just like eat Cheetos for lunch and be okay.

And so there’s just certain boundaries and making space for it at home is really the key because I don’t know if there’s young moms out there, but I was that mom who always left a binky at someone’s house after a play date. I was the mom who left her diaper bag. Like I was really, for my first two kids, I was very absent-minded. By the third kid, I realized, pre-planning is the key to success.

And I know for some type A people that’d be like, yeah, why didn’t you know that sooner? It took me a while, okay? It took me a while. Yeah, took me a while. So I realized with third kid, if I like get my diaper bag ready the night before. And then that kind of went into if I get my kids lunch ready the night before, or if I get my design clients all the…

Anita Yokota (23:34.306)
my laptop if I’m going to their house and I’m presenting a like if I get everything ready pre-planned with ample time before I always ended up succeeding far more because I was prepared. So when I was doing the individual domain coming back to that is what are some spaces in my home whether it’s the living room, my bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, what are ways that set me up for success?

that set my clients up for success for their life goals. I had a mom who really wanted to lose some weight for health. It wasn’t for vanity. But she struggled in the afternoon that 3, 4 p.m. where you get your little, you snack mode and she kept dipping into her kids’ snacks. And it was very frustrating for her because in her mind she knew she didn’t want to do this anymore, but it was like a habit. It was like a loop and what I call a home loop.

So she and I created an intention tray on the kitchen counter, placed it in an area that was like not a very useful area for anything else. We had a little mini food journal, we had a candle, but then we also had her favorite trader Joe’s snacks that were within, you know, her nutritional guidelines. And that changed the game for her because she made her own space for that goal.

And she developed a habit instead of her walking to the pantry, she walked to her intention tray, she had a whole ritual routine and it became a habit after, you know, I think it was about three, four weeks, she really started seeing her habit change. And that was very exciting for her. So those individual domain moments are so important because you set the foundation to then build the other domains and goals from there.

Chardet Ryel (25:32.202)
That’s a great example too that you’re saying because it’s something where it’s not actually a huge structural change to the home and that if someone else listening is experiencing something similar, don’t, could have a very small space and still create that for yourself. And it’s something that you might not think of. I wouldn’t have thought about that for sure, but it’s just like that small, small tweak.

to what’s around you and your environment, is there one or two questions that you would have people ask themselves to kind of figure out what is the priority of what I want to change for myself in my home in the individual domain?

Anita Yokota (26:16.27)
That’s a really great question. when you are standing wherever you are, ask yourself, what are my limitations or my false beliefs about myself in this space? For that mom, going back to it is, can never, I never can build a good healthy food habit. That was her limiting belief. And now because we,

restructured a habit, she was able to achieve that. So when you’re standing in a space, ask yourself, is there a habit in here that I can’t achieve that I feel frustrated about? Or is there a feeling that I want from this space? If it’s a work from home space, I want to feel more energetic. Or in your bedroom, is this a place that you know, how do I want to act, feel and

behave in this room that will make me happy instead of what the other person’s going to be thinking or how the kids are going to thrive. It’s like really taking back that agency and the boundaries of like, how do I want to think, act, and feel in here? And so that’s one, that could be one or three questions you can ask yourself. And then another question just would be,

I just love ease and flow. What things in here would make me feel more easy or make things flow? Is it fixing that darn faucet that keeps leaking in the bathroom? Or is it finding baskets and bins to help the kids take more responsibility in cleaning the toys instead of me yelling at them, but then not giving them a tool to actually clean up?

for themselves. So it can be from very granular small things to very practical things for other people to help you achieve that goal. Yeah, so those are some questions you can ask yourself.

Chardet Ryel (28:28.534)
Yeah, those ones really help pinpoint too. It’s like, if you look at your day and maybe even people can start to explore now after this listening, where are the sticking points? Where are the ones where you feel like you’re falling into? Do you call it a home loop? Was it?

Anita Yokota (28:46.838)
Yes. So, you know, all habits, we need steps to work towards that habit, and we need motivation and incentive. So just like, you know, kids and teenagers, we adults, we need some like, you know, incentive as well. And so you really need to set up that structure with good motivation. for that, again, I’m going to go back to that mom who wanted to eat healthier. Her motivation was like,

I get my favorite Trader Joe snacks, you know. So you really have to be realistic and throw perfection out the window. It wasn’t about I’ve got to eat within these amounts of calories or I’ve got to like no carbs, no carbs. Those were carbs, but it was within the limits of healthy eating. And that relieved the pressure of being perfect in creating habits or maintaining habits.

So a home loop is really a way to set yourself up for success in creating healthy habits that are sustainable.

Chardet Ryel (29:51.35)
This is I’ve got more follow up questions later on this because I can see that is like lightning or light bulbs going off or the idea of creating homelooks in your house. But all of those resonate, even small things like in our home. I’m someone who really struggles to sleep. That’s a sticking point for me. It’s very difficult. So I have a whole routine of how to gradually lower the lights and have less stimulation with sound and all of these things. And then the bathroom.

is so dark that there’s no windows. And so we’d have to turn on the light every time. And that was such a huge disruptor for me because I’m like, we’re relaxing, I’m winding down. And then all of a sudden this big artificial light goes on. And so a small switch there was we got this tiny little motion sensor one and put it right by the toilet. And it was just like, wow. Well now it doesn’t disturb me falling asleep.

Anita Yokota (30:46.016)
Yeah, yes. And again, like you mentioned before, it’s just smaller tweaks. I think we live in a society that’s so like even like, let’s just say like home renovation shows we watch or stream. It’s like, go big or go home, you know, take out the whole house and yeah, and really, it’s in life, if you think about it, success is compounded, right? So it’s many, many different small baby steps.

Chardet Ryel (31:02.618)
Get your sledgehammer.

Anita Yokota (31:15.128)
to finally get to that goal. It’s rarely overnight sensation where it’s A to Z in two steps or one step and that success is there. And I really try to remind my interior design clients because renovations are a big stressful ordeal. is physically, financially, emotionally, everything is, it’s a lot of stress. And so I really try when we come.

you know, when a hiccup comes and we have to choose something else versus what we had planned or whatever, I remind them that it’s just these small tweaks and it’s how we handle and process those small tweaks that will show us the success later. You know, we really have to hold the line and kind of hold the gray is what I call it, just similar to therapy is just like life is not black and white. It’s very messy. It’s very gray.

And so how do we hold that environment? And that’s why I’m so excited to share about home therapy is like, how do we make our homes a holding container for all our mess? know, because the only place that will really accept us is our homes, right? No one’s truly gonna judge you at home. So having your home work for you in that way so that you can work out.

your anxiety. You can work out your sleeplessness is a huge win for you.

Chardet Ryel (32:43.938)
Yeah, it’s the place where you go to find your safe haven, where you go to replenish your energy. And especially if we’re spending so much time at home now, for those that work from home or have their days off, it’s just having intention behind it. It makes me think too of the other domain which kind of flows next from this. Maybe it’s not a hierarchy actually, but the organizational.

Anita Yokota (33:07.79)
It’s like a, it is in the sense that it’s like it’s building blocks. So once you really get a sense, okay, I know my home needs to be X, Y, Z for me. I’m very clear. Then just like in therapy, I know myself enough to know that this is what I bring to the table for my next step, which is relationships or whatever, or how I work at.

Chardet Ryel (33:13.782)
Okay, the building blocks.

Anita Yokota (33:36.396)
you know, with my coworkers. For in home therapy, I went from individual to organizational because now that you know your internal infrastructure, now you can set up your external structure so that your internal can feel safe and expand. So organization, as you know, is really important in our lives because there is a mental load. When we see clutter,

There’s a mental load that I think people don’t often realize really bogs us down. It’s like that anchor that’s dragging us down every day seeing clutter. And some of us live with that clutter and we’re okay. Other people get very stressed. But I think overall research has shown that it does increase anxiety. It does impact our mood. And the more we can be organized, and when I say organized, I don’t mean perfection. I don’t mean everything’s like put away. Let’s just be real.

especially with busy lives, even if we don’t have kids or pets, we’re just busy. But having some kind of structure, every place has a home, everything has some kind of flow to it, then it will decrease the cortisol, as you know, that’s our stress hormone that is just constantly out going, circulating in our bodies and creating that fight or flight response.

And we really want to minimize that fight or flight response so that our bodies can relax. Because once our bodies relax, we make better choices. We communicate more effectively and we’re just happier. So with organization, it’s really about your hallway, closet, your drawers and your bins in the kitchen, the bathroom, your countertop surfaces. Those are things to really think about.

How do I restructure it so it’s not so creating that cognitive load? Because again, cognitive loads impacts our executive functioning, which is how we make decisions, how we interact with people, how productive we are.

Chardet Ryel (35:47.758)
This is even like small things people might not recognize. For instance, if you are someone who doesn’t enjoy cooking, is it because you don’t enjoy cooking or because you have to just search the cupboard for the spices and all the pans are stacked out and they fall on you?

Anita Yokota (36:01.806)
100%. Yep. Yes. It’s like the chicken or the egg, right? It’s, and I, even me as a designer, know, we didn’t renovate our current kitchen until maybe 11 years after being in this home. And so I relate so much to those busy professionals or like for me, was busy working mom.

Chardet Ryel (36:06.968)
Yeah.

Anita Yokota (36:26.966)
with three little kids. had a newborn, a toddler, and a preschooler. Like, it was crazy. And for many years, I didn’t enjoy cooking, even though I wanted to provide the most healthy meals for my kids and my partner, because the flow in the kitchen was awful. You know, just because the kitchen has an island, it doesn’t mean it’s a great thing. For us, the island blocked the dishwasher and the fridge door.

So if you can imagine every time you open the fridge door, my back literally was up against the kitchen island. And then on the other side, when I would take the, you know, flip the dishwasher door down, it literally was hitting almost the kitchen island on the other side. So when we renovated, I took away the kitchen island. It was a big scandal. A lot of people were like, what are you doing? The resale value. And I’m like, I don’t want this skinny little rectangle in the middle of this small kitchen. It’s not.

Now I have a huge peninsula, so it’s great workspace to prep food. I have a microwave drawer underneath. The flow in my kitchen now makes me so happy. And when I’m happy, guess what? I’m going to be doing more good things.

Chardet Ryel (37:45.083)
It would have been a scandal though to remove the island like that.

Anita Yokota (37:47.988)
yes, yes, everyone was like, are you sure? And I’m like, yeah, we’re doing it.

Chardet Ryel (37:53.69)
So once you’ve kind of done, you’ve asked the questions, you’ve really thought about what you specifically need from your home, from your space, and you’ve also started to go into the organizational aspect to make your life easier and flow. Then we flow into the communal domain.

Anita Yokota (38:07.63)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yes, and this is where it gets fun. I really love it. Because once you have your core self, you have your values, you know your intention for the design in the home, and then you have the structure, your drawers, your countertops, you’ve got the system going, then you can relax and go, OK, so now I get to have fun. Who are the people living in here? And even if it’s yourself, have fun. Create.

entertainment where you do have your friends over or have little a puzzle some people love doing puzzles find a really cool puzzle table and make a corner there, you know, so here’s the part where you start interacting because your foundation is Solid and you can really start expanding your relationships and yourself in it and that’s the exciting part is starting to have fun starting interact with people and and having that

relaxed demeanor will improve again your communication skills, your executive functioning, you’re gonna make better decisions and that all impacts the people who live with you because who wants to be a stressed out ball all the time and then have the people around you just, why is mommy so mad? It’s not fun, it’s not fun for me or the client and it’s not fun for the rest of the family. So I love communal because this is the…

place, your living room, your dining room, turn it into communication hubs, turn it into fun areas, not just to watch TV with the family, you know, get really creative with these spaces.

Chardet Ryel (39:52.632)
What is kind of, because this, you’ve probably seen a lot with your work, but what is one of the most interesting, innovative things you’ve seen done with a communal space?

Anita Yokota (40:06.008)
Well, we, again, I refer back to where I do most of my client projects. In Southern California, we have a lot of cookie cutter homes where the living room and the dining room are squished together. And right when you walk through the front door, it’s right there. And a lot of times, that formal, we don’t really do formal living room, dining rooms anymore. It’s just like dead space. And then you walk into the back of the house and there’s your family room with the kitchen. And that’s just,

always, always where the people convene. So I’ve done really interesting things such as adding a pool table because the family has three teenagers and now they want to be the fun house where all the friends come over with the pool table and there’s a TV. I mean, it was so fun. I wanted to come every Friday night and hang out with them. And then there’s also, we took out the dining room in the living room, dining room, and we extended it more couches and beanbags. And it was like a little mini great room for another family. And also, this is kind of crazy, but we also put in like a extended entertainment bar where there was a prep and there was a sink and that almost became a little kitchenette where people in that space could have a work from home space. So we did like a we work kind of thing, which is really cool. again, being creative with your space, throwing out the design rules like this has to be the formal living room and dining room. Gone are those days.

Chardet Ryel (41:54.156)
Yeah, and there’s so many ways to like you’ve described that you can take kind of dead space that was used for prior functions and make it a place to connect. Did you see, have you seen that guy who like, he goes and he created, this is mostly on Instagram, of course, and he creates really wild things in his home for his kids. And there was one where like he had this living room that had really high windows.

but they couldn’t really enjoy them because the ceilings were so high. So he created a net that they could climb up into. Did you see this?

Anita Yokota (42:27.955)
No, that is so cool. You’ll have to tell me who that is. That isn’t crazy. Yeah.

Chardet Ryel (42:31.628)
I’ll have to find it and show you. So he made a net so that his kids could then climb up and enjoy the windows or people could just read. And of course, like people complained that, how are going to sell your house like this? But you know, family means a lot.

Anita Yokota (42:37.558)
Wow.

Anita Yokota (42:47.266)
He’s like, yeah. Yes. Yeah. So it was almost like a hammock or something.

Chardet Ryel (42:55.278)
But imagine across the entire length of the ceiling and multiple levels too. So almost like a little fun house that you would climb through. Yeah.

Anita Yokota (42:58.132)
Wow. wow. No way. Yes. But see, that’s what makes your home yours. And then you’re using that space as you said.

Chardet Ryel (43:12.378)
It’s not just for like to be on the front of a magazine. It’s meant for you to be able to enjoy it and be with the people you love. What about like a smaller things? Is there something that you see across the board that people implement for in the communal domain that helps people to connect more?

Anita Yokota (43:18.306)
Yes,

Anita Yokota (43:35.406)
So one thing that I love using is the dining table. I love it to use it as a double function. Yes, it’s a place to convene and eat. And I know having meals together is a wonderful connector. But also, especially when you have children, it doesn’t matter how small or when they grow. It’s just a good habit is what I’m trying to say. A good home loop is even for partners, if you don’t have kids, it’s a great neutral

place to talk about harder conversations, decision making, or just reconnecting like a family meeting. Something that I always encouraged families to do when I was a therapist inside the office was have a family meeting, even if it’s not once a week, every two weeks, but really sitting down, putting your devices away. And the dining room is a neutral area. It’s not where like mom and dad, know, it’s not mom and dad’s room where you’re to get in trouble and come in and we’re going to tell you what’s wrong.

It’s not the kids’ room. It’s again, utilizing a space that maybe we don’t use often enough as a communication hub. Then the kids or the partner, we start training ourselves like, you know what, really need to talk about finances. Okay. And you just shoot your partner a text like, meet me at the dining table Saturday five. You know, like it becomes a habit where that area is not a bad place to talk about bad things, but it’s a neutral place.

to meet and connect and work things through, problem solve, resolve conflict.

Chardet Ryel (45:09.91)
It is so much like that. It’s so incredible. Like I’m just thinking, I’m sure people thinking too, that there’s probably a space in your house that you recognize that you’re having these harder conversations or you’re connecting more consistently. It’s not that you’re all over the house. There’s like these spaces. And it’s interesting to think about why that is, if it’s intentional or not, how to make it intentional.

Anita Yokota (45:34.72)
Yes, like for partners, I remember when I was doing couples therapy, a lot of times they’d talk late at night in the bed. And I’m like, no, kill joy. Do not, let’s reschedule. Reschedule. I understand, you know, because me and my partner would, you know, when you’re so tired and you don’t have enough time in the day, it is easier to just like, before you fall asleep, like start talking about things. But really, the bed is not the place for hard conversations. That vulnerability, the authenticity, find a

Chardet Ryel (45:43.087)
Yeah.

Ha

Anita Yokota (46:04.226)
Daytime and it’s all about intentionality. We always can carve out time for things. It’s just making the time

Chardet Ryel (46:11.578)
This is a tip I hope will stay with people. It definitely stays with me now. That is not for conflict resolution.

Anita Yokota (46:18.2)
hard conversation. Yeah, that’s a killjoy. Do not, do not.

Chardet Ryel (46:23.098)
What about for, if we move into the last domain, this is the one that I’m personally most excited about being in wellness and health. I’m really curious to hear about the renewal domain and how we can start to explore that because I think in the past people didn’t really pay much attention to this one, but it makes such a difference.

Anita Yokota (46:47.768)
So if you think about the therapeutic process, you’re doing a lot of front end work of finding yourself the individual domain. You’re digging deep, getting authentic and introspective. That’s a lot of work. And then you want to create that structure of who you are and exemplify it into the outside world. So having a very successful structure will set you up for success. And then once you have that structure,

to show who you are, you’re ready to meet people and have fun and be communal. So then interacting with people, even as an extrovert, it can be draining. So having a renewal space, usually the bathrooms and the bedrooms, that’s where you recharge yourself and get that self-care in. You relax your body, your muscles, your mind, and then you can re-enter whatever domains you need to.

for the next day. So I loved writing the renewal domain and I have a little funny story to share about that. So I’m an Aries. I’m very go go go. And the hardest chapter for me to write in the book was renewal, not in the sense of ideas. I love sharing self-care. I can tell you how to do five million self-care things to do. But the joke was that it was harder for Anita the author to do those renewal things.

than to tell people because I’m just always doing, right? But because of the challenges I have to relax, all the more into investing that time to learn that habit, that home loop to recharge. And now that it’s been probably, I wrote that book crazy. It’s been out for two and a half, three years, but I wrote it maybe five years ago.

It’s really interesting to see for myself how far I’ve come to value renewal. Renewal is all the domains are important in its own different way. But I feel like besides individual, renewal is how you recharge to get back to your core self. And so that’s why renewal is so important. And it’s, know, aromatherapy. again, it can be small, small ways. It doesn’t have to be, I got to do that cold plunge.

Anita Yokota (49:11.33)
you know, or I gotta go to dry sauna like five times a week or like, it can just be small things. When I’m stressed, I love taking baths because I love that water, some sensory feel. Sometimes I just wash my hands and that will kind of clear my body and my mind. So again, starting with small ways for renewal, for renewing yourself is imperative.

Chardet Ryel (49:37.092)
How do you think to maybe explore what those might be for each person? Because first we recommend, of course, to read the book. We’ll give at the end where to find it, where to read that. But what are some of the things people could start to explore or ask themselves? Because, for example, like the washing of your hands is not something that I would have naturally thought to do, but it makes sense because it’s meditative, it can be aromatherapy, things like that.

Anita Yokota (49:46.104)
Thank you.

Anita Yokota (50:05.446)
I always love, and I wrote this in the chapter for Newell, is think of your five senses and what are out of the five, maybe your top two or three of what you gravitate towards. So it’s very similar to like our learning styles. Some people learn through auditory, some people learn through visuals, some people learn through feeling a tactile sensory. What are the five senses that you’re drawn to and amplify that into your self care? So, and not just in the bathroom.

So for me, I love, love aromatherapy. Something that scent just kicks in that serotonin and dopamine level for me. So in my purse, I always have those roller stick aromatherapy and lavender, and I can put it on my wrist, I can put it on my temples, and that’s like a quick sensory thing for me, like a pick me up through my five senses. I…

think of your five senses and what are your top two or three, then find tools, whether it’s in the home or even things you can do on the go to support those sensory, I guess, your sensory tools so that you can really help yourself feel better throughout the day and feel more replenished.

Chardet Ryel (51:24.514)
This is so like, it’s helpful because it’s layered, because you’re saying like, you could have a big sensory thing because people are probably thinking, I have, you know, my mini yoga studio in my house, right? But it could also be, like you said, you have your aromatherapy rollers. It doesn’t need to be something so huge that feels impossible if you’re in a smaller place.

Anita Yokota (51:34.328)
Yes. Yes.

Anita Yokota (51:40.77)
Mm-hmm.

No.

Like during the pandemic, I had no, which I know everybody says the same, no personal space, right? You’re stuck with your family. I mean, it was months and months and I just was really starting to go batty. So I used my bathroom, which is honestly not that big. My vanity is the length of a yoga mat, but that’s where I did my yoga. That’s where I did my meditation. Like I literally, my bathroom was my sanctuary.

And that’s where I lifted weights. That’s where I also took my baths. But literally that yoga mat, the length of my vanity, which is, I didn’t go to a fancy gym. We all couldn’t go anywhere. But when my kids and partner knew I was in the bathroom, OK, don’t bother mommy. Do not go into it. That’s her time. So it could just be the length of a yoga mat, but it’s your intention.

Chardet Ryel (52:34.318)
Hahaha

Anita Yokota (52:44.535)
what you’re bringing to that activity, to that renewal, to how to recharge, bringing your five sensory into that tiny, tiny little space.

Chardet Ryel (52:55.938)
Yeah, would you say, this is kind of second to last question for you, but I’m curious, would you say that part of the renewal is creating, not habit loops, but creating a situation where you’re able to do the things that you really love? Like I’m thinking specifically, I like to paint, so I have my easel up and I don’t put it away, I keep it open, so I will paint.

Anita Yokota (53:21.954)
Yes. You just, you’re speaking my language and you hit on a very important point, which again, it kind of goes back to that pre-planning, right? So with my, if you can imagine my yoga mat in my bathroom was the length of my vanity. I had towel hooks to the left side of my wall. And instead of towels, I put my workout clothes on there and I put my, those elastic bands. And I told, because you know, during the pandemic, we loved our sourdough, we loved our.

We loved a lot of things. And I should have worn jeans like other people, but I was wearing sweats every day and I had no, you just, whatever. So I had to have a visual cue and there was no excuse. As I’m brushing my teeth, what’s to the left of me, it’s my workout clothes, it’s my elastic bands. I knew that was my home loop. That was a habit that I needed to keep up with. Otherwise I couldn’t fit into the jeans I wanted to anymore. So it’s, yes.

With your paint with your easel. It’s like inviting you into that activity Inviting you into that space so it’s very important to do and again your easel takes up Just the corner right like it’s not a huge space. I used instead of towel hooks I made those towel hooks into another function it became my workout corner

Chardet Ryel (54:42.38)
It’s just about being creative and like thinking, as you said, from the beginning outside the box of what’s possible for for what your space is. Is there any final question will be where to connect? But I’m just this was one follow up that occurred to me since the book came out a couple of years ago. Is there anything extra that you feel would be in addition to what you had in the book that you feel like, this is something now I would also mention?

Anita Yokota (55:13.26)
I don’t think, I feel like it’s a great foundation. I feel like it’s more, it’s just like therapy where you evolve and that’s what I love about my book and that’s what I love about interior design and therapy is like, you can go back to it and because you have evolved as a person, when you go back and read the book or use your, the domain methods and then I have different little methods within each chapter.

it’s because you have evolved or you’ve grown, that means your approach or your perspective is different and then your design in your home is different. And that’s the exciting part is that your home grows with you. It’s not a static method. It’s not a static thinking. It’s very fluid and it evolves. So I would say that’s more what I would say about my book and method and my thoughts on it.

Chardet Ryel (56:09.198)
like that a lot. because you can always use it as your base, build from there. And also, guess, understandably, some people will evolve differently, right? They’re going to interpret it a different way. Their realms will be, their domains might be slightly shifting. But, go ahead.

Anita Yokota (56:22.179)
Yes.

Anita Yokota (56:25.984)
Yeah, I think if you look back on your first apartment after college or your first home after you got married, like you can start, you can see the evolution of your own style of what you emphasized. know, maybe in graduate school, I emphasize more of like my living room where my friends came over. And then as I grew married, not grew married, but as I got married and, you know,

first year of marriage, you really like, wanted to cook meals for my husband and like the kitchen became like a really important spot. And then where the kids were became this important spot for the family home. So things evolve because of your seasons of your life, but also what I really want people to pay attention to. Again, it’s not about the other people in the house, but it’s really how you’re evolving and growing because the better you can take care of yourself.

then the rest will fall into place. So don’t neglect yourself. Really nurture and nourish yourself.

Chardet Ryel (57:34.176)
If we have people listening who are thinking about, I’m ready, I think there’ll be a few who are ready to do this and they want a little bit more guidance, where can they connect with you? What are the ways they can do that? How can they get your book? Where can they find it?

Anita Yokota (57:50.594)
Well, I thankfully am everywhere. So they can go on my website, AnitaYokoda.com and on the top header of my homepage, it says, you know, would you like to work with me? So find that button and then you can schedule a, you know, initial consult with me. I’m always taking zoom clients. If even if we’re not in the same area, we can do zoom. If they’re in the same area, then I can work with you in real life.

My book, I’m so thankful. It’s sold everywhere where books are sold. So it’s Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Target, anywhere online, and then also in independent bookstores. And it was a top seller on anthropology. It was so, so fun. So that’s where you can find my book. And then of course socials, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, and TikTok. But.

My main platform is Instagram, so you can always DM me there.

Chardet Ryel (58:50.404)
amazing. So we’ll connect everyone to you through show notes, all the links you can find and she’s everywhere. You’ll find one that works. And thank you so much for sharing, for really diving into the method, but also making it feel extremely relatable and practical for each person listening. I feel like all of us walked away with one thing that we can at least do to feel more

Anita Yokota (58:53.858)
Thank you. Appreciate that.

Chardet Ryel (59:18.65)
So thank you so much for sharing so openheartedly.

Anita Yokota (59:22.818)
thank you for having me. This has been so fun. And truly, truly, this is my passion in life is to share the two disciplines of psychology and interior design for wellness. And I hope we can reconnect soon.