Topics: Overcoming Anxiety and Panic, Inner Calm, Intrusive Thoughts, Calming Nervous System

Overcoming Anxiety and Panic, finding inner calm…

Ever feel like you’re juggling a million responsibilities but can’t shake the stress? That feeling that at any time it could all drop away?

You’re not alone. In this powerful episode, Coach and Psychologist, Lily Sais, opens up about her personal battle with anxiety and orthorexia, sharing how she transformed her life from constant panic to inner peace.

Listen to let go of what’s holding you back. You deserve to feel calm and in control—let this conversation show you how!

Listen in and discover:

• From Obsession to Freedom – Lily’s journey from fitness fanatic and creating her own strict health routines to experiencing severe panic attacks and how she found her way out.

• Tension vs. Anxiety – Learn the crucial difference between tension and anxiety, and how recognizing this can help you manage your mental state more effectively.

• Trusting Your Inner Wisdom – Get practical tips on simplifying your self-care practices and trusting your ability to handle life’s challenges with confidence.

• Managing Intrusive Thoughts – Lily delves into how intrusive thoughts can trigger anxiety and disrupt daily life. She shares why these thoughts happen and how to handle them without letting them spiral

ABOUT LILY SAIS
Lily is a school psychologist turned anxiety coach, dedicated to revealing the peace that’s already within you.

CONNECT

Website: https://www.peace-from-within.com/
Instagram: @peacefromwithin

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Episode: Negative Space

MORE ON THIS MENTAL HEALTH PODCAST EPISODE

“Tension just invites you to just kind of let go of what you’re thinking just temporarily to make room for wisdom.”– Lily Sais, Peace from Within founder and Anxiety Coach

• How can I overcome anxiety caused by strict health and wellness routines?
• How do intrusive thoughts contribute to panic attacks, and what can I do about them?
• What are effective strategies for managing chronic anxiety in daily life?
• What is orthorexia, and how is it linked to anxiety and stress?
• What are the signs that my anxiety is becoming overwhelming and needs attention?

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, anxiety just won’t let you go? Do intrusive thoughts keep looping in your mind, making it impossible to find peace? If so, you’re definitely not alone. In our latest podcast episode, we chat with Lily Sais, who opens up about her journey from battling anxiety and orthorexia to discovering true inner calm. Trust me, you won’t want to miss her incredible story.

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts and Their Impact

Intrusive thoughts can feel like those unwanted guests that just won’t leave. They’re those persistent, unwanted thoughts that go against everything you want. Lily shares, “Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts. They often go against what we want. A lot of people probably have them.” These thoughts can really ramp up your anxiety, making everyday tasks feel overwhelming.

But there’s a silver lining. Lily’s experience shows us that recognizing and managing anxiety starts with understanding these intrusive thoughts. By acknowledging their presence without letting them control you, you can begin to take back your mental space. It’s all about that first step to not let these thoughts define who you are.

Managing Anxiety: From Obsession to Balance

Have you ever found yourself obsessing over every detail of your wellness routine, only to end up feeling more anxious? Lily’s story is a powerful reminder that managing anxiety doesn’t mean doing more—it often means doing less. She shares, “I continued like seven years after to really struggle with panic attacks and driving anxiety.” Her strict health routines initially seemed like the solution, but they ended up fueling her anxiety instead.

The key takeaway here is balance. Instead of piling on more self-care practices, Lily learned to simplify her approach. She explains, “What I really love people to know is your peace of mind and well being isn’t dependent on if you never have a thought again.” By trusting her inner wisdom and letting go of excessive routines, she found a sustainable way to manage anxiety and achieve inner calm.

Overcoming Anxiety Through Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

Trusting your inner wisdom can make a huge difference in overcoming anxiety. Lily emphasizes, “Tension just invites you to just kind of let go of what you’re thinking just temporarily to make room for wisdom.” It’s about listening to that quiet voice within you and allowing yourself to pause, rather than reacting impulsively to anxious thoughts.

This shift from constant vigilance to trusting your instincts can lead to profound inner calm. Lily’s approach encourages us to embrace our natural resilience and wisdom, reducing the hold anxiety has on our lives. It’s a gentle yet powerful reminder that we have the strength within us to navigate through tough times.

Navigating Panic Attacks: Lily’s Personal Experience

Panic attacks can be terrifying, making you feel like you’re losing control. Lily opens up about her experience, “I had a panic attack. I’m driving on the freeway and I started talking about my, what I now know is kind of orthorexia.” Her honesty sheds light on how panic attacks can stem from intense stress and unhealthy obsessions.

But Lily didn’t let panic attacks define her. Instead, she sought out effective strategies to overcome anxiety. From therapy and meditation to community support, she found ways to manage her anxiety and prevent panic attacks from taking over her life. Her journey is a testament to the power of perseverance and the importance of seeking help when you need it.

Achieving Inner Calm: Lessons from Lily Sais

Inner calm isn’t about eliminating all thoughts or stress; it’s about finding peace amidst the chaos. Lily’s transformation from constant anxiety to lasting peace is truly inspiring. “I really went from being very, very anxious to really just being totally at peace with life,” she shares. This inner calm is achieved through practices that resonate with your true self, rather than following rigid, external rules.

One of the most impactful lessons Lily shares is the importance of cycle tracking for mental health. By understanding her own patterns, she was able to anticipate and manage her anxiety more effectively. This personalized approach allowed her to maintain inner calm even during challenging times.

Empowering Yourself to Overcome Anxiety

So, how can you apply these insights to your own life? Start by recognizing and accepting your intrusive thoughts without judgment. Simplify your self-care practices and focus on what truly brings you peace. Trust your inner wisdom to guide you through moments of tension and anxiety.

Remember, overcoming anxiety is a journey, not a destination. It’s about finding balance, seeking support, and empowering yourself to embrace inner calm. Lily’s story is a beacon of hope, showing that with the right mindset and strategies, you can transform your anxiety into a source of strength.

Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding intrusive thoughts, managing anxiety with balance, trusting your inner wisdom, and navigating panic attacks with resilience, you can achieve inner calm. Lily Sais’ journey is a powerful reminder that peace is possible, even in the midst of chaos.

Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full podcast episode with Lily Sais to discover more about her transformative journey and gain practical tips for overcoming anxiety. Embrace your path to inner calm and take the first step towards a more peaceful, balanced life today.

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Full Transcript with Lily Sais

Lily Sais: [00:00:00] Well, I definitely would have identified as an anxious child, you know, definitely somebody a bit more sensitive. I had also struggled with eating disorders and I guess my kind of thinking also really ramped up after the birth of my daughter. I Just started like researching a bit more food and it was also around that time that I was going to CrossFit.

I loved CrossFit. I love the community. I love working out. I love all that stuff. And so I said to my coach like I can’t do the diet part and then I read about it. I just became very strict and very obsessed. Created so much stress in me for years. I just kept going deeper and deeper. So I lost my period.

I really was like, I really want to be zero waste. I made everything from scratch. Um, I made my own cleaning products and beauty products, even my own laundry detergent, like on the outside, I kind of looked really healthy. And on the inside, I was incredibly stressed. I had a [00:01:00] panic attack. I’m driving on the freeway and I started talking about my, what I now know is kind of orthorexia.

I continued like seven years after to really struggle with panic attacks and driving anxiety. So everyone’s panic attacks can, they have some similar things, but some different things. Some people can be more physical, like they can really feel like they might be having a heart attack or a stroke or just something’s wrong or kind of across the board.

It is a sense of doom. Um, and mine was really mental. It had a sense of like. on reality and dissociation. And I thought I was losing my mind. I just ramped up everything. I eat clean, better eating, more therapy, more meditation, all the things that could be totally good. Like hypnosis, neurofeedback, cold therapy.

Like I just innocently did way too much. And then, and I wouldn’t just try it. I would do it for months or years. And I kept struggling. I kept having panic attacks and some things would help because I did take, there was a period where I didn’t drive on the [00:02:00] freeway for a year in Los Angeles, which is a long time.

If you live in Los Angeles, um, and have a family and a busy life, there was one point I’d like ride my bike from Santa Monica to Hollywood and sometimes have coworkers. Like I drive to Westwood and then once the person would be, I just still felt terrified. And then it was in 2018 after kind of still just being like barely making it to work sometimes and having panic attacks, I put into, you know, Google, like anxiety, panic attack help.

So I was always like, what’s. What else can I do? And up pop a woman, um, Sari Taylor, who’s now a good friend and colleague. And she just had a simple kind of seven, five or seven day anxiety course. And she sent you a little video, me, a little video. And I started to hear things that were so simple that I just hadn’t heard before.

And that’s kind of what led me to the style of coaching that I do. Cause I had kind of very innocently. And I hear this from some of my clients, like made up some rules. I have to meditate for this amount of time before I drive. And I [00:03:00] have to make sure I eat a balanced breakfast. I also want to do my journaling and my mantras and there’s nothing wrong with it.

It was just the spirit that I was doing. It was fear. When I first just got curious, like, is there less for me to do? My nervous system started to settle. And even I saw that there was less for me to do. In the moments of anxiety, because I started to see that my thoughts when I would get anxious, weren’t true, everything started to spiral in the right direction.

And that’s what started to change my life for the past seven years, or even probably before that, nothing seemed easy. Even if I had a good day, I had worked so hard. And so in 2020, I thought, well, I’m going to do. An online group. Um, and that’s just kind of how it started. I, I really went from being very, very anxious to really just being totally at peace with life.

Chardét: I think what I really appreciate about your experience, at least as you’ve shared is the intersection of wellness and wellbeing with this. Need [00:04:00] to control and this sense of anxiousness if you don’t I think a lot of people listening feel that and they might not even Recognize it that this has to be done this way I have to get this kind of cookware every time and I have to buy these kind of ingredients and they Might not think of it as a problem per se because it’s so socially condoned Especially if you’re living in a place like LA, you know, you’re surrounded by it Probably other people are doing the same behaviors and you don’t Recognize it as an issue, but you feel it, which it sound like you did.

And I think that’s why it’s so interesting to speak to you because how you’ve come through this and to show to that anyone can experience it. You are in the field of psychology and you’re still experiencing these emotions. I think there’s a, there’s so much. To that, to understand that anxiety, it doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter how intelligent you are, it doesn’t matter your background, that you can still feel this.

Lily Sais: Yeah, definitely. And everybody experiences anxiety. Everybody is always going to, you know, [00:05:00] but there’s a difference when it becomes like. Disordered in a way, you know, that’s the best word, or it becomes consuming and it starts to really impact your life and you just kind of have much more of a habit of chronic anxiety.

Chardét: What do you think are some of the triggers that start that I know everyone’s unique, right? So you might feel more comfortable talking about it from your experience or from people that you have worked with, but what are some of the triggers that might cause anxiety that might cause the panic attacks, the things that.

Maybe, I’m not talking about like, one off things, you know, a huge trauma happens and someone responds, but just everyday things.

Lily Sais: When someone feels triggers, it’s really an opportunity to understand where their experience is coming from. Because it’s always coming from the inside. Because it’s not large crowds or a job loss.

A lost pregnancy, because if it was every single person would respond the same way. One thing that I can see is sometimes people are, they’re not like running on full cylinders. Like they don’t have all their, their [00:06:00] capabilities. So then if something happens, they get a bit, maybe caught up in the anxious thoughts that arise rather than just like letting them kind of come and go and kind of getting over something.

So if anything that I’ve seen, it’s just that sometimes there’s. a few stressful events. So say it’s like an intrusive thought, which even could just be about health. If they were at a different state of mind, they might have like that thought or just not do anything. But again, because they’re kind of at a lower state of mind, they take it very personally, very seriously and kind of have an overreaction.

Chardét: And then we know this, right? Like it’s not actually externally generated, it’s internally generated. And the state of your mind impacts how you respond to these external things. So when you said anyone can. Be in a situation like everyone’s renovating their house, for example, but not everyone is having a panic attack because I guess that’s where it’s interesting to speak with you.

Because when you talk about intrusive thoughts, and I hope everyone listening understands the idea of that. But maybe also if you want to describe examples when [00:07:00] you talk about those coming in the mind and those kind of setting you off your back. Baseline or your strong foundation, they kind of tip you off a little bit.

What would be some examples of the thoughts and then how might it play out if someone has more peace within as you share versus someone who, who doesn’t and like, it’s veering on the panic attack.

Lily Sais: Well, an intrusive thought is, is unwanted thought. It often goes against what we want. You know, a lot of people probably have them.

If you are turning on the garbage disposal, if you’re in a. A state or place that has that, you know, and so you’re washing dishes and you turn it on and there might be some thoughts, it doesn’t have to be clear about sticking your hand in the garbage disposal sometimes or almost always. I think intrusive thoughts there is like a protection mechanism.

You know, if the brain doesn’t detect enough fear, it’s like, hey, don’t stick your hand down here. You know, a variety of reasons people can maybe be. It’s more in a state of insecurity that usually has been sometimes like building. So they might have [00:08:00] that thought and very innocently wonder why, what does that mean about me?

Give it more energy. Um, or they think, Oh my God, I never want to have that thought, you know? And then it just very innocently, we’re like on the lookout for it. Where we start wondering why, and we go back in our past, and, um, we’re analyzing, and then people start ruminating, would I ever do that? Thoughts flow all on their own.

Not everybody knows, oh, everybody gets all types of thoughts. And actually, all thoughts are neutral.

Chardét: It has no moral quality, whether the thought is one way or another. And it’s not necessarily bad or good that you’re thinking at a higher emotional state or lower. It could be the product of many experiences that have happened to you at this time.

And just because you’re good now, maybe later on it’s struggle. I always think a really good example is, uh, how people respond when they don’t get responses to text messages, where the person who feels like in a higher state is just going to think, okay, well, they’ve got something to do. Something’s happening.[00:09:00]

go on with my life. And then the person who’s maybe a little bit lower might be like constantly checking and saying, Oh, they don’t like me anymore. Or they got angry about something or that this event is not going to happen now. And I kind of see those two juxtaposed a little bit.

Lily Sais: I love that. That’s such a great example of when people can get lost in their imagination, almost always like intrusive thoughts are just meaningless.

And sometimes if they. You’re having more of them, or even in that example, if there’s somebody that got insecure about the text response time, they might wake up and be like, Oh my God, I think I’m really tired. Not even about the text. It’s like, or getting lost. If someone’s like, Oh, what does it mean that I keep having the garbage disposal thought?

And it’s like, you know, the simplest thing is, Oh yeah, either it’s meaningless or I guess I’m just a little bit stressed. You know, just a little, like it doesn’t have to be like, this means something really bad about your mental health. I love that texting example because I think you’re just showing states of mind and it’s like, if you’re lower, that’s also fine.

You’re just, Oh, I’m low. That’s why I got caught up [00:10:00] and a story because you know, we’re low or tend to everyone’s tendency. Just going to Bob right back to the surface. Like a pork when you’re low, hands off your thinking when you are feeling low. All your thinking is going to be nonsense, leave your thing, like something practical that is still a work in progress for me and my mentor taught me.

And we have like a blind spot because sometimes I have a blind spot about work. What he said was so interesting. I’d heard blind spot. I resonated with it, but what he was saying was blind spot is we don’t recognize our state of mind because when we’re here in a good, I’m in a good state of mind. It makes a lot of sense that when you’re low and insecure, your thinking is not going to be helpful.

So like, don’t try to solve your life and, and change your business plans and like, but sometimes it’s sneaky because I didn’t realize I was low. Like if I don’t, or I don’t realize I’m a little bit tense, I’m a little bit insecure and I start thinking. Maybe I’m getting up too early. Maybe I shouldn’t do this style of workout.

I start thinking and I forget that thinking is not going to be helpful. I start thinking more.

Chardét: Well, [00:11:00] I first, I’ll have a follow up question on this because the tension versus anxiety is an interesting distinction that I’m curious about how you, how you see those differently and how they may be related as well.

But the other part about how recognizing that you’re not in a mental state to come to any sort of conclusions about what. You’re doing or the reality around you I think is a golden thing for people to hear because even if you’re mentally very balanced, emotionally very balanced, you will have those days where it’s just not the day for you to be making big decisions.

It’s not the day for you to be having big conversations and to be interpreting the response of other people because you’re not. In the mental state to do it, you’re just going to take all sorts of, you know, like you said, creating different realities, thinking about different things, going down a spiral.

And I don’t know if you do this at all, but I I’ve had to do this because it helps me a lot is tracking my cycle. And I do notice that there are certain days where I will just [00:12:00] be so low mental state and there’s a pattern to it. And on those days, I need to walk away from. Trying to be the best, the greatest, figure things out because it’s not going to be good.

Lily Sais: And I love that you said that because I wouldn’t want people to think, so I should cancel my meetings and I shouldn’t make any decisions. And it’s more like what you were saying. It’s like, I’m just not going to take too much stock in my thinking because you’re exactly right. When I started to notice, That I’d get a bit more insecure right before my cycle and I would maybe start being like, does my boyfriend like me?

Is he not like me? Like, was that response? And then I’d be like, period, you know, um, you know, or I really know that if I start to feel bad in my body, I still go about my day. I’m just not going to get as involved with that thinking. Like, let’s solve this problem, whether it’s a relationship problem or it looks like I’m not doing life right and I should change up my workout routine or my diet, you know, what I really love people to know is you, you know, your peace [00:13:00] of mind and well being isn’t dependent on if you never have a thought again.

I still have thoughts like around my cycle. That might be more. Insecure and definitely like harder on my looks. Um, but I’m like, well, whatever. Like it, I just, they don’t bother me as much.

Chardét: Something for people to try is pick a day of your cycle or just in general that you notice where you are really high mental state.

Like you feel. Super competent and everything and leave yourself a voice memo and say like, Hey, this is the day I feel so good, bubba, and listen to it two and a half weeks later, and you’re going to feel the difference, right? Like it’s so clear to you. Oh, wow. Sometimes for me, it feels like a different person.

When I listened to that message. Interesting. What you said. I like that you clarified you’re still going to do things. You’re still going to have the thoughts. It’s just knowing when you’re more likely to spiral and when you’re a bit more level headed. I want to circle back. Quickly though, so that I get this from what you had said before about you feel tension but you don’t feel anxiety

Lily Sais: and, and that’s like, I guess [00:14:00] to me, anxiety seems more buzzy, more speedy, a bit more false.

It has a faster speeder energy to me, like anxiety and I guess where I’m at now. I’m making up that anxiety seems more exaggerated, although obviously people’s anxiety can seem really based in reality, too. Um, it just has a bit more urgency and a bit more, so I guess I don’t spend very much time in anxiety because it’s easier for me to be like, You’re all kind of nonsense.

And like, if I get anxious, it’s, it’s very much easy for me to be like, nothing helpful here and hop out. But tension, this is a horrible story, but like, you know, the frog in the hot water, like now it’s like, I’m kind of out. So if I hop right in the anxiety water is really hot, but sometimes tension, I think starts mild truly.

If there is something to see, I’m much better off if I feel tense, truly letting go of all my thinking. And letting, cause we all are made of wisdom and common sense that is so much far better [00:15:00] capable of handling anything than our little computer brain. And so that’s why I so am trusting of me and I have a chronic health condition and I’m like, it’s kind of just runs on autopilot.

I very effortlessly take care of myself. I have no, I don’t concern myself anything that’s going to happen in the future because I know future me will handle it. And sometimes though, if it’s about financial stuff and business. I forget that I forget to rely on this amazing innate intelligence, but I’m really happy that I work it out this way that the tension reminds me and invites me to turn it over to turn it over to wisdom.

That’s going to give me fresh answers if there’s anything to see. And most of the time it’s like there’s nothing to see. There was no problem. You were living in some future where your business falls apart and that’s like not happening. So like there’s nothing to solve here. So the tension to me, I’m actually grateful.

Just like I’d be grateful if. I got a blister because it shows me, hey, either like wear some different socks. Do you know what I mean? So the tension, it invites me, it invites all of us. So I’m grateful.

Chardét: The early indicator [00:16:00] and the sock aspect is really helpful where if you get the blister, you have the choice to recognize something’s wrong with your footwear and change it or relax or.

You continue to use it and the condition gets a lot worse, which you could say is when you fall maybe into the anxiety and even beyond sometimes. I like that because you’re always going to have some indicator. Your body’s never going, your brain is never going to shut down completely and say, I will never alert you of fear, real or irrational again, it’s not going to happen, but like you’re saying, you have the physical indicator of the tension or maybe some slight resistance and it can flag something that may be there.

that needs to be looked at, or maybe not. And having the ability where, when you said this, it just stuck so much, of having the ability to trust yourself, I think is the biggest thing for dealing with all of this, is knowing that you will be able to figure it out, and it’s probably not going to be an A to B thing anyways.

So you trying to think of all the different calculations is not [00:17:00] going to be as powerful as what you said, that intuitiveness.

Lily Sais: Yeah, like it’s really to me, tension just invites you to just kind of let go of what you’re thinking just temporarily to make room for wisdom, because if it’s the wisdom, this is from one of my mentors, Dick and Patrick, he would say, like, if it’s the wisdom that creates worlds, whatever, like problem we’re having, it’s no match for wisdom.

And I forget that. And it’s like, I use my little brain. And then I kind of am tense for more than I need to be rather than remembering, but I don’t want people to be like, Oh my gosh, I’ve got to catch the tension early because human beings are so resilient. And so you might totally not get the wake up call attention or anxiety, and you might have a panic attack and that’s your body.

That’s like your mental health in action. And there’s never a point of no return tendency, physical and mental is to balance is to help you leave it alone. Because our mind has a self correcting system too. You start to kind of have this trust. You know, I remember when I looked up, like, what’s the opposite of anxiety?

I think it’s a trust. And I was like, Oh, that’s interesting. That’s really interesting. So I think I try [00:18:00] to help my clients remember, and they start to feel empowered and trusting in their own innate ability, their own innate health.

Chardét: Cause it’s one of those things where I always think about how the problem is not the problem, but the way that you were reacting or responding to it, which isn’t even a problem necessarily as you’re.

sometimes you’ll have that natural reaction. How I’m responding instead of having the trust or having the awareness is what’s causing me to freak out more or probably versus the actual thing that has happened be it losing the job, ending the relationship, whatever, or even smaller things like breaking the glass or, you know, small things can also.

Make people feel quite a lot of emotions. Last question for you. What do you think is the biggest thing you just wish people would know about this journey of really moving from having anxiety, which feels uncontrollable in some ways to finding a bit more? Of that, of the peace within.

Lily Sais: There is less for them to do.

You’ve designed so beautifully, but also anytime you think that there’s [00:19:00] something wrong with you or that, you know, you are this unique failure, like anybody listening, like you are, you are so unique, you are so special. And your anxiety isn’t, and your insecurity isn’t.

Chardét: And I know there’s so much more that you can help them with.

So if you want to share where people can find you and also the ways that they can work with you.

Lily Sais: Instagram would be great. It’s. underscore peace from within. I have almost 3000 videos there. I love making videos. I have a bunch of kind of like master classes. And then I have a monthly community where there’s so many videos.

Yeah. And I work with people in groups. It’s my favorite. And then also one on one though, people want more individualized support

Chardét: and thank you so much for being here and sharing. I feel like a little bit more relaxed even after this conversation. And I hope that people listening feel the same. Same.

Really. Thank you for being here.