Overcoming perfectionism and anxiety with media creator Taryn Delanie
Overcoming perfectionism & anxiety is a journey!
Are you tired of trying to be perfect or feeling anxious about showing your true self to the world?
Media creator, speaker and former Miss New York, Taryn Delanie, shares her journey from self-criticism and judgement to self-acceptance. Taryn’s mission is to empower women to take up space and feel comfortable as their “weird girl selves.”
Her message is for anyone that’s ever felt outside of the box or norm. In this self-development podcast episode:
Here’s a quick summary of the podcast episode:
Overcoming Perfectionism and Anxiety
Taryn discusses how she’s struggled with generalized anxiety and the need to present a perfect image to the world, especially during her time on stage. She opens up about how much she loves people and wants to show up fully for every interaction but also recognizes that you can’t manage the perceptions of others.
We chat about how humor has been a connective force for her and how comedy lets her connect with others, deal with mental health struggles and show a more authentic, quirky self. Taryn’s journey with anxiety reminds us that it’s okay to have off days and moments of vulnerability.
Honoring Your Authentic Self
Taryn admits that it’s a messy process to self-discovery and self-acceptance, which is why it’s so important to have self-compassion and patience. Let go of the pressure to have everything figured out and instead appreciating the journey. Reflect on the importance of developing a healthy relationship with yourself.
This one relationship will define all the others in your life. Taryn’s story shows us that it’s okay to be a work in progress. As she says, it’s about being there for your “weird girl self.” Accept the messy, imperfect moments, and give yourself the grace to learn and grow. Know that you are enough.
Success with Imperfection
Taryn talks about how she’s able to relate much more fully to her community and be present in her relationships by opening up to different sides of her, instead of hiding behind perfectionism.
She challenges herself with her content and messages to show the less “pretty” sides and be more real. We also discuss how difficult it can be to have an “off” day, especially in the public world, as well as why it’s important to give others grace and space to be imperfect.
LISTEN TO NEXT
Episode 185: Balance Through Boundaries
Interview Quotes from Taryn Delanie
“What I’ve learned is that it’s about accepting myself and loving myself where I’m at.”
“Let go of the pressure you put yourself under to have figured this out already, for it to be easy.”
“Perfectionism is paralyzing. It keeps you from being able to really just love yourself for who you are, right now, in this moment.”
Answers to frequent perfectionism and anxiety questions
How is perfectionism linked to anxiety and how can I manage both?
Perfectionism is indeed linked to anxiety, as Taryn shares from her personal experiences. The pressure to be flawless and fear of making mistakes can lead to excessive worrying and self-doubt. To manage the anxiety it causes, Taryn suggests practicing self-compassion and challenging negative thoughts. Her favorite advice from her therapist has been the reminder that an emotion lasts 90 seconds but you can choose to prolong it or feel it and let it process. Allowing yourself to experience emotions without judgement AND to show up as imperfect, you’ll feel less anxiety and more comfortable in the authentic you. Remember to also seek support from friends, family, or professionals to develop healthy coping mechanisms.
What are some practical strategies for dealing with perfectionism and letting go of the pressure to be perfect?
Embrace the idea that being authentic and imperfect is far more relatable and inspiring than striving for an unattainable standard. Celebrate your progress and the small victories, even if they’re not flawless (in fact celebrate them ESPECIALLY then.)
One key approach is learning to comfort yourself during moments of self-doubt instead of seeking external validation. Embrace vulnerability and recognize that it’s okay to have weaknesses, it’s normal to wonder if you CAN do it or if you’re capable. But yy reframing your perspective, you can cultivate self-acceptance and focus on personal growth rather than an unattainable pursuit of flawlessness.
Above all, practice gratitude for your strengths and progress, because this fosters a postive mindset that empowers you to let go of the constant need for perfection, even during the difficult times.
How can I strike a balance between striving for excellence and avoiding the pitfalls of perfectionism?
This requires introspection and self-awareness. Taryn suggests focusing on the journey of self-improvement rather than fixating on the end result. Set realistic goals that challenge you while allowing room for learning and growth. Acknowledge that perfectionism can be a hindrance, leading to anxiety and self-doubt.
Instead, channel your energy towards self-compassion and continuous progress, understanding that perfection is an unattainable standard that doesn’t define your worth. Celebrate your achievements, big or small, and cherish the process of becoming the best version of yourself.
How can I embrace my authentic self without the fear of judgment?
Embracing your authentic self starts with recognizing that it’s okay to be imperfect and different. Taryn reminds us that we don’t have to conform to societal expectations, and instead, we can celebrate our unique quirks and qualities. Understand that not everyone will resonate with your authentic self and that’s okay. Shift your focus from seeking approval to cultivating genuine connections with those who celebrate your authenticity.
You can also acknowledge your uniqueness and let go of the pressure to be someone else. Accepting and loving who you are opens up the space to grow and evolve authentically. Start with one small quirk that is wholly you and gradually open up as you feel more comfortable.
Is it okay to have moments of vulnerability and anxiety when interacting with others?
Yes, it’s absolutely normal to experience moments of vulnerability and anxiety when interacting with others. Taryn shares her own struggles with anxiety and how she copes with the fear of not being perceived perfectly. Remember, it’s okay to have off days; what matters is how you treat yourself during those times. It’s always back to that idea of how would you treat a friend? The more self-compassion and understanding you give yourself the more ease that you will feel with being vulnerable and the less anxious feelings that will surface in ALL your interactions.
Can I show up as my genuine self, even on difficult days? Are there days when you don’t feel your best self?
Absolutely! Being authentic means showing up as your true self, even on difficult days. Taryn reminds us that authenticity is not a destination; it’s a continuous journey of growth and self-discovery. Don’t be afraid to share your struggles and seek support from your community.
What are some strategies to practice self-compassion and kindness towards myself?
Practicing self-compassion and kindness towards yourself is essential in the process of being your authentic self. Taryn talks about comforting herself during tough times and acknowledging that it’s okay to feel and experience emotions fully. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge your feelings, and treat yourself with understanding. You don’t have to strive for flawlessness and you deserve the grace and patience that you give to others.
How do I discover my authentic self and embrace who I truly am?
Discovering your authentic self and embracing who you truly are involves self-reflection and self-acceptance. As Taryn shares, it’s essential to recognize that your journey is unique and there’s no secret formula to becoming your true self. Embrace vulnerability and be gentle with yourself as you navigate through self-discovery. Allow your interests, passions, and quirks to shine, and don’t be afraid to explore different aspects of your identity.
How can I balance being authentic with societal expectations and pressures to fit in?
Taryn’s story reminds us that being genuinely you is far more rewarding than trying to meet impossible expectations. But balancing authenticity with societal expectations and pressures is a delicate journey. Taryn suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing your own values and beliefs. While it’s natural to want to fit in, avoid compromising your core identity to conform. Find like-minded communities or groups where you can feel accepted for being yourself. Remember that staying true to your authentic self will lead to more fulfilling and meaningful connections in the long run.
How do I deal with the discomfort of vulnerability and opening up to others about my authentic self?
Dealing with the discomfort of vulnerability and opening up to others about your authentic self is a process. Taryn advises practicing self-compassion and recognizing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Share your authentic self with those you trust and feel safe with, and gradually expand your comfort zone. Accept that some people may not respond positively, but understand that true connections are nurtured when you show up as your genuine self. Embrace vulnerability as a pathway to deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Overcoming Perfectionism and Anxiety Book Recommendations
“The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution” by David A. Clark and Aaron T. Beck